INTRODUCTION TO THE THIRD PART OF THIS DIVINE HISTORY, WHICH EMBRACES THE LATTER PART OF THE MOST HOLY LIFE OF MARY, THE MOTHER OF GOD.

 

1. In navigating a deep and dangerous sea, the navigator is so much the more dangerously beset with its terrors and the attacks of pirates, the farther he has penetrated into its wide expanses. His cares are vastly increased on account of his weakness and want of certainty; for he does not know when or whence danger may come, and he is powerless to avert its coming and unable to resist it when at hand. This is just what is now happening to me since I am engulfed in the immense ocean of the excellence and magnificence of the works of the most holy Mary. And yet it is a sea full of repose and tranquillity, as I know and confess. Nor can the fact, that I have advanced so far upon this sea of grace, and that I have finished the first and second part of her life, give me assurance; for in this work I have, as in a most clear mirror, only so much the more clearly perceived my own incapability and vileness, and the deepest conviction forces itself upon me, that her history is most impenetrable and incomprehensible to all created understanding. Nor are the enemies, the princes of darkness, ever at rest; for, like the most persistent pirates, they continue to afflict and discourage me by false illusions and temptations with a malice and astuteness beyond all calculation. The navigator has no other recourse than to fix his sight upon the north-star, according to. which, as his star of the sea, he must guide and direct his course amid the waves. I am trying to do the same in the midst of these multitudinous and tormenting temptations and fears. Guided by my Star, the most holy Mary, in whom, through obedience, I can ascertain and fix my will upon the will of the Eternal, and being many times afflicted, full of unquietness and fear, I cry out from the bottom of my heart and say: "My Lord and most high God, what shall I do in my doubts? Shall I proceed, or shall I desist, in writing this history? Do thou, 0 Mother of grace and my Instructress, make known to me thy will and that of thy divine Son."

 

2. I must confess truly, and as due to the divine condescension, that God has always answered my clamors and has never denied me his paternal kindness in making known his will in many ways. Although this is sufficiently evident in the assistance rendered to me in the writing of the first and second parts, yet besides this proof, there are innumerable other assurances given me by the Lord himself, by his most holy Mother, and his angels, so that evidences have been heaped upon evidences, and testimonies upon testimonies, to counteract my cowardice and fear. What is more, the angels themselves in visible shapes, being the prelates and ministers of the Lord in his holy Church, have pointed out and reiterated the divine commandment, bidding me to believe and execute this commission, and to continue to the end. Nor was there wanting to me the light of infused science, which sweetly and forcefully called, enlightened and moved my heart to the knowledge of the highest perfection, the most immaculate holiness, the most perfect virtue and the most desirable of what can be sought by the will. It has at the same time referred me to all this as enclosed and reserved, like a hidden manna, in that ark of the covenant, most holy Mary, open for all that wish to approach and taste thereof.

 

3. Nevertheless, on entering upon the writing of this third part, I was beset by new and harassing contradictions, not less formidable than those experienced in the first two portions of this history. I can say without fear, that I have not composed a sentence or a word, nor have I brought myself to write the least part of it, without experiencing more temptations than the letters of the alphabet of which it is composed. Although the hindrances caused by my own fear would have been sufficient (since I know who I am, and cannot help being cowardly, nor ever can put less confidence in myself than what my own weakness will warrant) ; yet neither this, nor the magnitude of the undertaking were the real impediments, though these were at first unsuspected. I presented to the Lord the second part, which I had written, in the same way as I had presented the first. Under strict obedience I was compelled to begin this third part, and, by the strength which this virtue gives to all that practice it, I allayed the fear and faintness of my heart in executing what had been assigned to me. But fluctuating between my desire and fear of commencing, I was cast about like a vessel, combated by violent and contrary winds.

 

4. On the one hand, the Lord bade me proceed in what I had begun, as such was his will; nor, in my continual prayers, did I ever feel impelled to a different course. It is true, for some time I paid no attention to these directions of the Most High and did not manifest them immediately to my superior and to my confessor (not because I wished to conceal them, but in order to act more securely and in order that they might not suspect I followed only my own insight). But the Lord, who is so even and equable in all his works, inspired them with a new energy in pressing their continual exhortations and commands. Yet on the other hand, the envy and malice of the ancient serpent maligned all that I did or was moved to undertake. He raised up against me tormenting and alluring temptations, by which he sometimes sought to inspire me with his own boundless pride. At others, and very often, he sought to cast me down to deepest dejection and involve me in darkest and most disorderly fears, increasing his efforts as this history progressed, and especially as it was coming to a close. This enemy also availed himself of the judgment of some persons, who justly could claim my respect and who would not further this work. He caused also disturbances among the religious under my charge. It seemed to me that I had no time to spare and was obliged to attend to the welfare of the community, as the most important duty of a superioress. With all these molestations I came to no such interior peace, as is necessary for and befitting the actual enlightenment and intelligence concerning the mysteries to be treated of. For this light cannot be perceived, nor is it properly communicated, amid the spiritual storms of temptation, but will shine only in the peace and serenity of the soul's faculties.

 

5. Afflicted and harassed by such a variety of temptations, I ceased not in my clamors. On one day in particular I spoke to the Lord: "Highest Lord and Good of my soul, to thy wisdom are not concealed my sighs and my desire to please Thee and to avoid errors in thy service (Ps. 37, to). Lovingly I lament in thy royal presence; for, either Thou commandest me, O Lord, what I cannot fulfill, or Thou permittest thy and my enemies to hinder by their malice what Thou commandest." The Lord answered my complaint and with some severity, said: "Remember, soul, that thou canst not continue what thou hast begun, nor wilt thou finish the writings of my Mother's life, if thou wilt not become altogether perfect and pleasing in my eyes. For I wish that thou gather within thee the copious fruits of this benefit, and that thou among the first, profit by it in greatest abundance. In order that thou mayest share its fruits as I wish, it is necessary, that all which is earthly in thee and savoring of a daughter of Adam be consumed. Thou must be free from the effects of sin with all its evil inclinations and habits." This answer of the Lord excited in me new solicitudes and the most burning desire of performing all that it implied; namely, not only a common mortification of all the inclinations and passions, but an absolute death of the animal and terrestrial life and its renovation and transformation into a celestial and angelic state of existence.

 

6. Desiring to apply my powers to what was proposed to me, I examined my inclinations and appetites, I searched the bystreets and corners of my interior and felt a most ardent wish to die to all that is visible and earthly. For some days I suffered in these exercises great affliction and melancholy; for, in proportion to my anxiety, increased also the dangers and occasions of being diverted by attention to creatures. The more I sought to withdraw myself from all my surroundings, so much the more did I find myself bound and oppressed by what I abhorred. Of all this the enemy availed himself for my discouragement, representing such a life as altogether impossible to me. To this affliction was suddenly added another new, strange disorder. I felt in my body a condition so sensitive that the least exertion, even the most insignificant mor tification, became more intolerable to me than until then the most severe penances. Those that I was accustomed to undergo most willingly, required now the most violent exertion, and I found myself become so delicate that they seemed to inflict upon me mortal wounds. To undergo discipline was an excruciating pain, causing swoons, and each stroke cut through my very heart. Without exag­geration I say, that merely to touch one hand with the other forced out my tears, so that I felt great confusion and grief at being so miserable. In forcing myself to labor in spite of this infirmity, I found my blood oozing from my fingernails.

 

7. I could not account for this new experience, and in considering it, I impatiently exclaimed: "Ah me! What misery is this? What change do I feel within me? The Lord commands me to morti fy myself and die to all creatures, and I feel myself much more alive to pain and much less mortified." For some days I suffered in great bitterness and impatience of my soul. In order to moderate my disturbance, the Most High consoled me, saying: "My Daughter and Spouse, let not thy heart be afflicted at the vividness of thy sufferings. I have sought by this means to distinguish in thee the effects of sin and to restore thee to a new life and pre­pare thee for works more exalted and pleasing to Me. Until thou shalt have attained this state, thou canst not begin to write what remains of the life of my Mother and thy Mistress." This answer of the Lord somewhat encouraged me; for his words are words of life, vivifying the heart (John 6, 69). Although my troubles and temp­tations were not abated, I prepared myself for labor and battle; yet I continued to distrust my weakness and in­ability and despaired of finding a remedy. I sought it in the Mother of life, and I resolved to ask for help in sincerity and constancy. For She is the only and most certain refuge of the needy and afflicted and She has continually heaped her many favors upon me, the most useless creature of the world.

 

8. I prostrated myself at the feet of the great Lady of heaven and earth, and pouring out my spirit in her presence, I besought Her mercifully to remedy my imperfections and defects. I represented to Her my desire of pleasing Her and her divine Son and again offered myself for her service, even if I should have to pass through fire and torments and shed my blood. The kind Mother answered my supplications by saying: "My daughter, understand well, that these desires, which the Most High again excites in thy heart, are pledges and effects of his love, by which He calls thee to his intimate intercourse and familiarity. It is his most holy will and mine, that thou on thy part correspond to them in order that thou mayest not hinder thy vocation or retard any longer the pleasure of his Majesty in what He requires of thee. During all the writing of my life I exhorted and reminded thee of thy obligations connected with this blessing, namely that thou imprint in thyself the living image of its teachings and of my example according to the graces thou receivest. Thou hast now arrived at the third and last part of this history; and it is time thou raise thyself to a perfect imitation of Me, clothing thyself with new strength and extending thy hand to strong doings (Prov. 31, 17). By such a life and behavior thou wilt be able to begin what still remains to be written; for it must be written in such a way, that thou put in practice the lessons it inculcates. Without such a disposition thou wilt not be able to write it; since it is the will of the Lord, that my history shall be written more in thy heart than on paper, and that thou feel what thou writest, in order that thou mayest write what thou feelest."

 

9. "Therefore I desire that thy interior be cleared from all earthly images and inclinations (Ps. 44, 11); so that, having put away and forgotten all visible things, thou mayest center all thy conversation and intercourse upon thy Lord (Phil. 3, 20), upon me, and upon his angels; and let all other things be strange and foreign to thee. In the strength of this virtue and purity, which I require of thee, thou shalt crush the head of the ancient serpent and conquer his opposition to thy writing and laboring. Because thou art so tardy in responding to the wishes of the Lord, in entering upon the path He wishes thee to pursue, and in placing full confidence in his blessed intentions, I tell thee truly: while attending to these empty fears, thou art so tardy in responding to the Lord, in entering upon the path He wishes thee to pursue and in placing full confidence in his blessed intentions, that, precisely on this account, divine Providence has permitted the dragon to be the minister of his justice in punishing thy unbelief and thy want of submission to his will. That same enemy has concocted schemes to draw thee into some faults by setting before thee his deceits in the garb of a good intention and of virtuous ends, and by seeking falsely to persuade thee, that thou art not destined for such high favors and exalted blessings; and, in order that thou mayest not merit them, he has made thee dull and tardy in rendering thanks for them. Thou hast been taken in by the deceit of deeming these works of the Most High due to thee in justice, and not as works of grace; and so thou hast neglected to co-operate to the fullest extent with the divine graces and hast not corresponded to those thou receivest without any merit of thy own. It is time, my dearest, that thou be assured, and that thou believe the Lord and me; for I teach thee the highest perfection, namely the imitation of me. Thus shall be conquered the pride and cruelty of the demon and his head crushed by divine power. There is no reason why thou shouldst impede its effects; but, forgetting all things, consign thyself lovingly into the hands of my divine Son and mine; for We desire of thee what is most holy, most praiseworthy and pleasing in our eyes and estimation."

 

10. By this instruction of my heavenly Lady, Mother and Teacher, my soul was replenished with new light and with the desire of obeying Her in all things. I renewed my good resolutions, I resolved to raise myself by the help of divine grace, and I strove to prepare myself for the fulfillment of the will of the Most High without resistance. I availed myself of my bodily condition, by which, as mentioned above, my sensibility to mortification had been so much enlivened and increased. But the demon abated not in his strife and opposition. He knew that the enterprise I was to assume was very arduous and that the state to which the Lord raised me was a refuge, but one far above human weakness and earthly dullness. Gladly will I confess this truth and the slowness caused by my frailty and sluggishness. I acknowledge, that the Lord has labored with me during my whole life in order to raise me from the dust and from the dunghill of my vileness, multiplying his blessings and favors beyond all my comprehension. Moreover He has seconded all these blessings by the aid of his right hand in order to gain his end. I cannot at present mention all that He did for me; but at the same time it seems unjust to pass it over in silence entirely, since it will show to what misery sin has brought us and what distance there is between the capacity of the reasoning creature and the summit of virtue and perfection it can attain. It will also show what it costs to restore man to that capacity.

 

11. Some years before writing this I was repeatedly favored with an extraordinary blessing at the hands of God. It was a sort of death to all the animal and terrestrial operations, like that of civil death; and this state was followed by another, which was one of new enlightenment and of more exalted operations. But since the soul always remains clothed in mortal and earthly corruption, I continue to feel the heavy weight of the flesh overwhelming and degrading the soul (Wis. 9, 15), unless the Lord renews his wonders and favors me with the assistance of divine grace. On that occasion this renewal was wrought in me through the Mother of piety, who, speaking to me in a vision, said: "Take heed, my daughter, that now thou must begin to live not thy own life, but the life of thy Spouse Christ in thee (Gal. 2, 20) ; He is to be the life of thy soul, and the soul of thy life. For this purpose I wish to cause in thee the death of thy old life, which has so far operated in thee, and establish in thee the new life, which We ask of thee. Let it then today be known to heaven and earth, that sister Mary of Jesus, my daughter and servant, dies to the world, and that the Most High works this change, in order that this soul may live only to what faith teaches. Just as in natural death all things are left behind; so shall this, my daughter, thus freed, by her last will and testament consign her soul to her Creator and Redeemer and her body to the earth of self-knowledge and patient suffering. Of this soul my divine Son and I shall take charge, in order to fulfill entirely his holy will, if she will obey Us promptly. We will celebrate her exequies with our courtiers, in order to bury her in the bosom of the divine humanity of the Word, which is the sepulchre of those that die to the world while still in mortal life. From now on she must not live in her own self, nor for herself, after the fashion of Adam; but in all things she is now to manifest in her the life of Christ, who is her life. I shall beseech Him to look kindly upon this deceased one and to receive her soul as his own; to acknowledge her as a stranger and pilgrim, living not on earth, but in the higher and divine regions. I shall instruct the angels to accept her as a companion and to treat and converse with her as if she were freed from mortal flesh."

 

12. "I command the demons to let alone this dead one, just as they must let alone the other dead, who are not under their jurisdiction and in whom they have no part; for from this day on she shall be more dead to visible things than those who have passed from this world. I conjure men to lose her out of sight and forget her, as they forget the dead, in order that they may thus allow her to remain in peace and tranquillity. And thee I command and exhort, that thou consider thyself as one who has finished life in this world and has entered eternal life in the presence of the Most High. I desire thee to imitate the life of the blessed in faith; since the certainty and assurance of truth is the same for thee as for them. Thy conversation is to be on high (Phil. 3,20) ; thy intercourse, with the Lord (jf all creation and thy Spouse; thy conference shall be with the angels and saints, and thou must rivet thy whole attention upon me, thy Mother and Teacher. For all the rest that is earthly and visible thou must have neither movement of life, nor any activity; no more than a dead body. which shows no feeling of life in response to anything that may happen to it or may be done with it. Neither must difficulties inquiet thee, nor flattery OT pleasures affect thee; thou must not respond to injuries, nor be elated by honors; let neither presumption inflate thee, nor mistrust cast thee down; thou must not give consent to any feeling of concupiscence or anger; because thy model in all these passions must be a dead body, already freed from all of them. Nor must thou have any more dealings with the world than the dead; for the world immediately forgets those whom it has praised in life, and to such an extent, that, though they be father or brother, and the most intimate relatives, it hastens to put them out of sight. All this the deceased permit, without a murmur or a feeling of offense; nor do the dead make any account of the living, much less do they attend to them or to anything they may have left among their survivors."

 

13. "Having thus died to thyself, it remains for thee to consider thyself as the food of worms, fit only for vilest corruption. Thus shalt thou bury thyself in the earth of thy self-knowledge, in order that thy senses and passions may not presume to give forth their bad odor in the sight of the Lord, nor, like an ill-covered and half-buried corpse, may not presume to give forth its bad odor in the presence of the Lord and of those that have entered the blessed life. Let thy horror of showing any signs of life, or of not being entirely mortified in the sight of thy God and of the saints, be much greater than that caused by unburied bodies among men. The use of thy senses such as sight, hearing, touch and others for the purpose of entertainment or delight, should be a greater surprise and offense to thee, than to see a corpse moving about. By this death thou shalt be prepared and fit to be the only spouse of my divine Son, and my true and most beloved disciple and daughter. Such is the state which I require of thee, and so high is the wisdom, which I am to teach thee in following my footsteps and in imitating my life, reproducing in thyself, as far as is granted thee, all my virtues. This should be the fruit of recording the wonders and sacraments of my sanctity manifested to thee by the Lord. I wish that they escape not the secrecy of thy bosom and be made known without having moved thee to the perfect fulfillment of the will of my divine Son and of mine, which tends to nothing else than toward thy own highest perfection. Drink then the waters of wisdom from their fountainhead, the Savior: there is no reason why thou shouldst remain void and unsatiated of that, which thou art to administer to others, nor that thou shouldst finish writing this history without deriving the fruits of this blessing. Prepare thy heart then for this death, which I urge upon thee, and thou shalt attain thy wishes and mine."

 

14. Such were the words of the great Lady of heaven to me on this occasion, and on many others She has repeated this teaching of the salutary and eternal life. Of these teachings I have written much in the chapters of the first and second part, and shall continue to do so in the third part. From all this my sluggishness and ingratitude toward such great benefits is very apparent. For, though this great Queen and her divine Son have so often promised to raise me to a most exalted state and habitation, once I die to the earth and to myself, and though in their divine kindness They now promise it freely and anew; yet 1 find myself continually backward in virtue and much entangled in the pursuits of a daughter of Adam. This state is a solitude and desert, created for the soul in the midst of the surrounding creatures. In it my soul has no intercourse with the rest of visible creatures, but enjoys the presence and the communications of the Lord, of his holy Mother and the angels, at the same time permitting all its activity and all its dealings to be governed by the promptings of the divine will for God's greater glory and honor.

 

15. During the whole course of my life, from earliest childhood, the Most High has exercised me in continual infirmities, sorrows and other molestations of creatures. But with the advance of years He increased also the sufferings of another kind of trial, which made me forget much of those already suffered in the past; it was like a two-edged sword which divided my soul and spirit, as the Apostle says (Heb. 4, 12). This trial was that constant fear, of which I have so often spoken, and for which I have been reprehended in this history. Much of it I felt even from childhood, but it developed and rose to the highest pitch since my entrance into religion, where I applied myself entirely to the spiritual life, and experienced the manifestations of the Lord to my soul. Since that time God has placed me upon this cross, or into this wine-press of the heart, namely: permitting me to remain in the continual dread of not being on the right path, of being deceived, or of having lost the grace and the friendship of God. My difficulties were much augmented by the publicity, which some persons incautiously and to my great grief, gave to my affairs, and by the terrors with which others filled me at my danger. So deeply rooted in my heart was this terror, that it has never ceased, and could never be allayed by the satisfaction and complete assurances of my confessor and superiors, nor by their kind encouragement, nor by their corrections, nor by the many other means they used for this purpose. What is more, although the angels and the Queen of heaven, and the Lord himself continually reassured and soothed me, and although I feel myself free in their presence; yet, as soon as I issue from this sphere of divine light I am again assailed with incredible violence. This might easily be recognized as the cruel machination of the infernal dragon, if my troubles, afflictions and fears had not the appearance of arising from other sources than the devil. This fiend especially assails me, whenever I am about to open my heart to my confessors, particularly to the superior, who directs me; for nothing does this prince of darkness fear more than the light and the power possessed by the ministers of the Lord.

 

16. In the bitterness of this sorrow and the most ardent desire of grace and of not losing God, I have lived many years, and the various and numerous happenings amid this constant strife I cannot record. The root of this fear, I believe, was holy, but many of its branches have been fruitless, although the divine wisdom knew how to use them all for his different ends. On this account He permitted the enemy to avail himself of the blessings of the Lord for my affliction. For the inordinate fear, which hinders the good, though it appear to imitate ever so much the good, is evil and of the demon. My afflictions have at times reached such a pass, that I considered it a great gain not to lose the life of my body, and especially that of my soul. But the Lord, whom the winds and the waves obey (Matth. 8, 27) and whom all things serve (Ps. 118, 91), who gives nourishment to every creature in opportune time (Ps. 144, 15), has now in his condescension wished to give peace to my spirit in order that I might enjoy more tranquillity in writing the rest of this history. It is some years ago, that the Lord consoled me and promised me peace and interior quiet before I should die; informing me at the same time, that the dragon is so furious against me, because he suspects there is little time left him for persecution.

 

17. In order to set about writing this third part the Lord on a certain day, with singular condescension and complacency, spoke to me as follows: "My dearest Spouse, I wish to alleviate thy pains and moderate thy afflictions; quiet thyself, my dove, and rest securely in the sweetness of my love and of my powerful and kingly word; for I assure thee upon this word, that it is I, who speak to thee and who have selected thy paths according to my pleasure. It is I, that lead thee along these ways; it is I, the same One, that is at the right hand of the eternal Father and present in the sacrament of the holy Eucharist in the species of bread. I give thee this assurance, in order that thou quiet and convince thyself. For I do not wish thee, my dearest, to be my slave, but my daughter and spouse, and I desire thee to enjoy my gifts and delights. Enough of fears and of bitterness hast thou suffered; let peace and tranquillity enter into thy afflicted heart." Such favors and assurances of the Lord, often repeated, one would think, should not be humiliating, but should afford only the greatest joy; but they are of such a kind, that they abase the heart to the lowest dust and fill me with solicitude and anxiety. Those that think different, have little experience and are only slightly capable of the secret operations of the Most High. It is certain, that I have been instructed in many new things interiorly and was much alleviated in the troubles and temptations caused by these disorderly fears. But the Lord is so wise and powerful, that on the one hand He assures, and on the other He stirs up the soul, injecting new fear of falling and thereby preserving it in the knowledge and humiliation of self.

 

18. I must acknowledge that by these and other continual favors, the Lord has not so much freed me from fears, as confirmed me in them; for I live in continual dread, lest I show myself ungrateful and fail to correspond by displeasing Him or losing Him; lest I be wanting in the perfect love of Him, who is so good in Himself; and lest I should not deserve to retain the fullest possible love toward Him, or even that which is not possible. Filled with these anxieties, and on account of my great misery, solicitude and many faults, I said on one occasion to the Most High: "My sweetest Love, Lord and Master of my soul, although Thou givest me so many assurances to quiet my troubled heart, how can I do away with my fears amid the dangers of this laborious and dreadful life, full of temptations and persecutions, during which I hold my treasure in a vase more fragile and weak than that of any other creature?" With paternal condescension He responded:

"My cherished spouse, I do not wish thee to lose the just fear of offending Me; but it is my will, that thou be not disturbed and grieved in a disorderly manner, nor so as to hinder thee from rising to my exalted and perfect love. Thou hast my Mother for a Teacher and a model, for thy instruction and imitation. I shall assist thee by my grace and support thee with my direction. Tell Me then, what thou askest, or what thou desirest for thy peace and security."

 

19. With the greatest resignation that I could muster I replied: "Highest Lord and Father, much is that which thou askest, although thy goodness and immense love deserve that I fulfill it all. But I know my weakness and inconstancy, and I shall be satisfied in no other way than by not offending Thee, neither by the slightest thought, nor by the least movement of my faculties; and I shall rest only when all my actions shall be according to thy pleasure and good will." The Lord answered: "My continual help and favors shall not fail thee, if thou correspond to them. In order that thou mayest do it so much the better, I wish to perform a work, which is in keeping with the love I have for thee. I will connect my immutable Being with thy insignificance by an especial Providence, chaining and binding thee in such a way, that, whenever thou shalt, in the weakness of thy will, do anything less pleasing to Me, thou shalt feel my influence detaining and recalling thee to Me. The effect of this blessing Thou shalt know and feel immediately within thyself, just like a slave, who is bound by chains in order that she may not fly."

 

20. To the great joy and advantage of my soul the Almighty fulfilled his promise and among many other favors and blessings (which may not be mentioned and which do not concern my purpose), none has been so precious to me as this one. I perceive it not only in great dangers, but in the smallest; and in such a way, that if I neglect or carelessly omit any work or ceremony, although it be no more than to humiliate myself or to kiss the floor on entering the choir to adore the Lord, as is customary in the convent, I at once feel a sweet force, which draws me and calls my attention to the defect, and which, on its part, permits not the least imperfection. If sometimes in my weakness I fall into any, this divine force is at once present, causing in me heartrending pain. This pain serves as a check to the least disorderly inclination and at the same time as a goad toward seeking immediate remedy for the fault or imperfection committed. As the gifts of the Lord are without regret (Rom. 11, 29), He has not only bound me with this mysterious chain, but, in his divine condescension, on a certain day, that of his holy Name and Circumcision, I perceived that He tripled it, in order to restrain me and bind me still more forcibly, since a triple cord, as the wise man says, is difficult to break (Eccles. 4, 12). All this was necessary on account of my weakness, in order that I might not be overcome by the importunate and astute temptations of the ancient serpent.

 

21. In the meanwhile these temptations increased so much, that in spite of the blessings and commandments of the Lord mentioned above, in spite of the demands of obedience and of others not to be mentioned here, I nevertheless hesitated to begin the last part of this history; for I felt again the fury of the powers of darkness, which tried to overwhelm me. I understood this and I will explain it by what saint John says in the twelfth chapter of the Apocalypse: That the great red dragon shot forth from its maw a river of water against that heavenly Woman (Apoc. 12, 15), whom he had pursued from heaven, and that, since he could not touch or destroy Her, he turned in great rage against the remnants and the seed of that great Lady, against those who are sealed with the testimony of Jesus Christ (Apoc. 12, 17) in his Church. During the time of which I am speaking this ancient serpent strained all his wrath to disquiet me and, as far as he could, force me to commit some faults, which retarded the purity and perfection of life required of me and necessary for writing what I was commanded. While this interior battle continued, the feast of the holy Guardian Angel on the first of March intervened. Reciting matins in the choir I suddenly felt a noise or great disturbance, so that I shrank and humiliated myself to the very dust. Then I saw a great multitude of angels, which filled the whole choir, and from their midst proceeded a still greater refulgence or splendor as of a judge, seated upon a tribunal or judgment-seat. I understood at once, that it was the archangel saint Michael. Without delay they intimated to me, that they were sent by the Most High with especial power and authority to arraign me for my negligence and for my faults.

 

22. I desired to prostrate myself on the earth to acknowledge my transgressions and humbly to weep before those celestial judges, but as I was surrounded by the nuns, I dared not make the presence of the angels known by prostrating myself in body. I did what was possible interiorly, bitterly weeping over my sins. In the meantime I saw the holy angels speaking and conferring with each other, saying: "This creature is useless, slow, and not at all fervent in fulfilling the commands of the Most High and of our Queen. She will not come to a full trust in the blessings and the enlightenments, which she continually receives at our hands. Let us deprive her of all those blessings, since she does not put them to use, nor earnestly strive to be so pure and perfect as the Lord teaches her to be; neither does she proceed to write the life of his most blessed Mother, as He has commanded her so many times. If she does not mend, it is not just that she should receive so many and such great favors and instructions in holiness." Hearing these words I was sadly afflicted at heart and I wept the more. Full of confusion and grief I spoke to the holy angels in the bitterness of my soul and I promised amendment of my faults and obedience unto death to the Lord and to his most holy Mother.

 

23. At my humiliation and my promises the angelic spirits relaxed somewhat in their severity and with greater kindness they told me: that, if I would diligently fulfill what I had promised, they would assure me of their continual favor and assistance, admit me as their companion and friend, and hold intercourse with me in the same way as they conversed with each other. I thanked them for their kindness and besought them to present my thanks also before the Most High. They disappeared, warning me, that for the favors they would show me, I must imitate them in purity, committing no fault or imperfection wilfully; and this they intimated as the condition upon which this promise depended.

 

24. After these and many other happenings, which need not be mentioned, I was left in a state of greater humiliation, as was natural with one who had been so severely reprehended for ingratitude, unworthiness and insensibility toward so many blessings, exhortations and commandments. Full of confusion and sorrow I considered within myself, what little excuse or pretext I had for resisting the divine will, in view of all that I had come to know and in view of its importance to my welfare. I resolved firmly to execute the command or die in the attempt, and I sought for some powerful and tangible means which should rouse and urge me on to combat my want of attention, and which should keep me alert, if possible, against any imperfection in all my operations and movements, so that I might always do what is most holy and pleasing in the eyes of the Lord. I betook myself to my confessor and superior and besought him, in all the sincerity and submission of my heart, to reprehend me severely and force me to be perfect and solicitous in the most exact fulfillment of the divine will and in the execution of what the divine Majesty required of me. Although he was most zealous and vigilant as one who took the place of God and one who knew his will and my prescribed path; yet he could not always come to my assistance or be present on account of the absentations required by his duties as a religious and as a superior. I resolved therefore also to engage one of the nuns to assist me, asking her to reprehend and advise me often, or warn me and stir me up by threats. All these means and others I sought in the most ardent desire of pleasing the Lord, his most holy Mother and my Teacher, the holy angels, all of whom were of the same mind in regard to my advance in perfection.

 

25. In the midst of these solicitudes it happened to me one night, that my holy guardian angel showed himself to me as being particularly pleased and said: "The Most High wishes to condescend to thy desires and has appointed me to serve thee as a guide to spur thee on. I shall be thy faithful friend and companion in order to advise thee and rouse thy attention; and thou shalt find me present, just as now, whenever thou shalt turn thy eyes toward me in the desire of pleasing and faithfully serving thy Lord and Spouse. I will teach thee how to praise Him continually and how to alternate with me in canticles. I will manifest to thee new mysteries and treasures of his greatness; I will give thee deeper understandings of his immutable being and divine perfections. And whenever thou art engaged in outward works of obedience or charity, or when, through some negligence, thou turnest to earthly and exterior things, I shall call thee to By to the Lord; and for this purpose I shall use some words of admonition, which often shall be these: Who is like unto the God, that dwells on high and in the hearts of the humble? At other times I shall call to thy mind the blessings thou hast received from God and thy duty to his love. At still others, I shall remind thee to look upon Him and raise up to Him thy heart. But to all these warnings thou must be punctual, attentive and obedient."

 

26. "The Most High also desires me not to conceal to thee any longer a favor, which until now thou hast overlooked among the many conferred upon thee by his most liberal bounty; and for this thou must now begin to thank Him. It is this, that I am one of the thousand angels, who served as a guard to our great Queen in this world, and one of those, who bear the device of his admirable and holy name. Look upon me and thou wilt see it upon my breast." I looked and there recognized the holy name in refulgent splendor, filling my soul with new consolation and jubilee. The holy angel proceeded and said: "He has also commanded me to call thy attention to the fact, that of us thousand angels very rarely any are appointed as guardian angels of souls and whatever souls so far have been committed to our care, have all been of the number of the saints and none of them of the reprobate. Take heed then, 0 soul, of thy obligation not to interrupt this series; for if in spite of this blessing thou art lost, thy punishment and chastisement shan be of the severest ever inflicted upon the damned and thou shalt be known as the most unhappy and ungrateful of all the daughters of Adam. That thou shouldst be favored by having me as thy guardian, who was one of the guardians of our great Queen, most holy Mary and the Mother of the Creator, was ordained by the most high Providence and in view of thy being chosen to write and imitate the life of his most blessed Mother. I was appointed to instruct thee and assist thee, because I was an eye-witness of her divine works and excellences."

 

27. "This office of a guide will be fulfilled principally by the great Lady herself; but I am to furnish thee with the necessary images in order to elucidate what the heavenly Mistress shall teach thee, and I am to give thee other understandings ordained by the Most High, for the clearer recording of the mysteries manifested to thee. Thou shalt experience all of them although thou shalt not always know the connection and the sacraments hidden under this providential guidance. Thou shalt also perceive that the Lord himself, making use of this special providence in thy regard, has commissioned me to compel thee, with sweetest urgency, to imitate the purest Mary our Queen, and to follow Her and obey Her in her doctrine. From now on I shall execute this mandate of the Lord with greater insistence and force. Resolve then to be most faithful and thankful in regard to these blessings and seek to scale the highest summits of the perfection taught thee and asked of thee. Remember, that even if thou reach the perfection of the highest seraphim, thou shalt still be in great debt to God's copious and liberal mercy. The new mode of life, which the Lord asks of thee, is contained and is made clear in the instructions given to thee by our great Queen and Lady, and in what thou shalt understand and write in this third part of her life. Listen to Her with a submissive heart, thank Her humbly, execute Her doctrine anxiously and carefully; for if thou do this, thou shalt be fortunate and eternally blessed."

 

28. Other things, which the angels told me, need not be mentioned for my present purpose. But what is contained in this introduction, will manifest partly the providence of the Most High toward me and it will also make known the high purposes of divine Wisdom in the writing of this history. These are, that not only I, but all who desire, may reap the fruits of this blessing, and that each one for himself may use it as an efficacious means of salvation. It will also become evident, that Christian perfection cannot be attained without great battles with the demon or without incessant labor in overcoming and subjecting the passions and evil inclinations of our depraved human nature. Finally, the heavenly Mother and Instructress, that I might begin to write this third part of her history, in sweetest kindness, said to me: "My eternal blessing, and that of my most holy Son, come over thee, in order that thou mayest write the rest of my life and in order that thou mayest labor and strive after the perfection We desire of thee. Amen